


Subreddit Minifics

by A_Guy_Called_2623



Series: Backlog Minifictions [1]
Category: RWBY
Genre: Humor, Other, Writing Prompt Wednesday
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:40:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25480066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Guy_Called_2623/pseuds/A_Guy_Called_2623
Summary: In lieu of updates for my main fic, take some little humor bits from the subreddit. All of these are from the weekly Word Prompt Wednesday events, or maybe a minific from the comments, who knows.Don't expect this to be updated regularly it's just to tide folks over in dead spots, like right now. c:This will be the dropzone for any non-WR fics, those will go in the other collection area. Anyways, I hope you enjoy!
Series: Backlog Minifictions [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1846435





	1. Chapter 1: True Silence

**Author's Note:**

> Fic One: True Silence. Originally posted for WPW 189.
> 
> A Gelato/Partners in Crime fic, wherein Neo loses her scroll and Roman can't tell what she's trying to say.

"Alright Neo," came the near musical voice of her boss. "I quite rather think that it is finally the time to show Vale what we, the Partner's in Crime, Roman Torchwick and Neopolitan, are truly made of!"

The young woman nodded and reached for her scroll to type out an 'affirmative'. But when she dug into her pockets, not a thing. Except for the stolen pearls. And the stack of Lein cards. And the keys to a Valeon Airship. And many other valuable objects from Vale's upper class.

"What's the matter Neo?", Roman inquired, genuine curiosity permeating his voice.

Neo looked up towards him, shaking her head, and pointing to her pocket and throwing in a shrug for good measure.

Roman's brow furrowed. "Oh, I understand. You want to line your pockets with Lein. Well lucky for you, that's exactly what I had planned! Come Neo, The Valeon Trust awaits!"

She only gave a stunned expression and gaped, before grabbing Torchwick and pointing to her pockets again, this time trying to throw an imitation of somebody on a call.

"Ok that one seems to be a bit more difficult," Roman replied. "But if you want the CCT down, I suppose we could talk to Cinder about it. The Beacon Dance is coming up and Emerald's been blabbing non-stop about her mistress' 'great and evil plan'," he added with an extra layer of spite.

Neo gaped some more, before facepalming. She stomped over to a whiteboard, beginning to erase nearly everything on it.

"NEO! STOP! THOSE PLANS ARE IMPORTANT!" Torchwick called out, pulling his own scroll out to take photos of the board before everything was lost. But no sooner than he had, Neo snatched the device, opened up messages, and typed out a simple but angry sentence:

_I can't find my scroll anywhere._

"... Oh."


	2. Fic Two: Love. Simple Sisterly Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:
> 
> Created for WPW 193: The prompt was: "Ruby accidentally does a Bad Thing. To make her sister feel better, Yang does something worse." Note: rather OOC Raven, set in the days of Tiamat's glory.

_many years ago, in a lonely cabin on the isle of Patch_

"You two kids had better not be doing anything bad over there", Raven drawled, hardly looking up from a newspaper. "Just because your parents are away doesn't mean you get to cause chaos. In fact, they told me if anything goes wrong, I get to take the offender with me."

Yang poked her head around a wall to look in on the woman, a very clear frustration in her pools of lilac. Suddenly a loud _smash_ echoed out of the kitchen. Raven barely looked up, but from the slight glint of red that Yang managed to see, it could only be one thing: Opportunity.

Yang raced into the kitchen to see her young sister of only four on the floor, with a plate shattered to pieces behind her. "Ruby, what happened?" injecting sincere care as she hugged her sister "Are you ok?"

Ruby looked up, with an ocean about to flow from her eyes. "I did a bad," she sniffed.

"Hey it's ok," Yang replied, deepening the hug. "Accidents happen sometimes."

Ruby only seemed to get sadder. "But the girl in the family room said-" Her voice broke, and she began to bawl.

At that, Yang realized. "Oh. Oh, Ruby." She pulled her sister into an even deeper hug. "Don't worry, Ruby, you'll be ok." While consoling her sister, Yang began to plan.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few hours later, Raven rose from the chair to check on the two girls. "I heard a loud crash earlier, who's the one coming with me to bandit camp then?"

As soon as the Branwen entered the sister's room, however, she did not find two children napping, but rather a bucket filled with boiled water on her head. Fortunately for the sisters, that was the exact moment that Summer and Tai returned from their mission.

"Hey girls, we're home!" Tai called out, only for both parents to be practically tackled by a flying and sobbing Ruby.

"Mommy, Daddy, I don't want to leave, I wanna stay with you!"

Summer looked to her sobbing daughter, then to Raven with a wave of raw anger in her eyes. "Raven. What, did you say to my daughters."

Raven elected to say nothing. She removed the bucket from her head and portaled away before Summer could ready her weapon.

After the other woman had left, the Xiao-Long-Rose family pulled into a tight embrace. Family always was important to them, and nothing could ever hope to shake those bonds. For not even in death do they part.


	3. Chapter 3: The Betrayal of Cookies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:
> 
> The following work was created for WPW #197, the prompt was: "The cookies betray Ruby". Pairings in play are WR, Lancaster, and Rosegarden, but none contribute at all to the actual story here. It's just a fun little confrontation against the cookie manic that is Ms. Rose.

3 pairs of eyes stared menacingly into Ruby's soul as Jaune, Weiss, and Oscar stared her down.

"Well, what is it?" Ruby asked innocently, trying to deflect.

"You know full well what it is, Ruby," Jaune replied.

"There were cookie crumbs in all of our beds," Weiss fumed, her icy blues tearing right through Ruby's blockade.

"Cookies I had just made," Oscar added, rather frustratedly.

Ruby laughed nervously. "How do you know it was me and not Nora? You know how she is most of the time. All hyper and such."

"Ruby, you're sweating buckets right now." Weiss deadpanned. "It's only 45 degrees Valean so don't blame the temperature."

"And you're tripping over your words," Jaune added. "Looking everywhere but at us too."

"I-I don't do well with confrontations!" Ruby burst. "None of that means anything! You're just making false claims against me!"

"Are you so sure?" Another voice joined in. Ruby turned to see Yang in the doorway, holding up a plastic bag with one of Oscar's cookies. "Why don't we put that to the test then?"

Ruby paled as Yang drew closer. "Or maybe how about we don't? Who says we have to you know?" She turned on a heel and tried to blast away, but a black glyph formed underneath her.

"Hm..." Weiss pondered, a smirk beginning to grow on her face. "Something tells me our fearless leader has something to hide."

"Get her!" Oscar shouted.

"Nonononono Waitwaitwait!"


	4. Chapter 4: Nefarious Evil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:
> 
> This story was originally from the comments of a photo, specifically a mojojoj work of Neo messing with snarling Ruby. It has been rewritten in order to better fit the aesthetic of an actual work though. Pairing is, of course, Partners in Crime/Gelato. Also yes, it's heavily Chibi-esque, but what stories in this collection aren't?

Roman seemed to age 15 years as Neo squatted next to their mutual enemy. A frown on his face, he very quickly went as red as Ruby's cloak. "Neo, for the love- STOP MESSING WITH HER!"

Neo simply put on a smugly coy smile as she flicked Ruby's forehead for the 18th time in as many seconds.

Ruby growled as she attempted to pull her hands from the bonds that held them behind her back. "When I get my hands out of here, you two are gonna be sorry, you can bet on that!"

"Roman facepalmed. "The one time my plan goes completely right and you're messing it up, Neo. She needs to look frightened otherwise we can't sell the illusion. That's the whole point of taking a hostage! Now- PREPARE THE PIT OF... The pit of... Uh... Neo what's in the pit again?"

Neo shrugged and flicked Ruby yet again.

Roman just looked at his partner as a minuscule part of his soul died. "... Stop it. Or I'm never letting you have ice cream for dinner again."

Neo instantly stopped at this threat, and quickly drew Hush, it's blade extended between Ruby's now shocked eyes.

"THERE WE GO, NOW IT'S SOLD!" Roman announced, gleefully. "And I just remembered what's in the pit. NEO! READY THE PIT OF PUPPIES!"

"Ruby's face contorted into an utterly confused look. "What?"

"You see, Little Red," Roman began, a large smile on his face, "we're going to drop you into the pit, but you don't get to touch any of them. And, you don't get to take any home with you."

"You heartless fiend!" Ruby now began struggling even more, there were puppies that needed to be given pats!

"HAHA, don't I know it, Red!" Roman cackled, and with a wave of his cane, consigned Ruby to a hideous fate. "Put her in Neo!"

Neo pulled a lever and the ever tricky Little Red would be a problem no more.

Roman then turned to a large projector array. "HAHA, VICTORY IS MINE AT LAST! Now that Little Red's taken care of... Uh... Neo, where's the "call" button?"


	5. Chapter 5: Dolt Vision 20/20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:
> 
> This was derived from the "Whose Line is it Thursday?" for May 20th, 2020; with the "prompt" being: "Ruby suspects that Blake has a crush on Yang. So, in true little sister fashion, she attempts to hook them up in increasingly... bizarre...ways." Pairing at play is of course Bumblebee, but with a bit of WR thrown in, because it's me. Also perhaps some *slight* Sugar Rush, though that is open to interpretation.

Ruby was pondering, a quite dangerous activity if you'd ask Weiss. "Hmm... The mistletoe didn't work, it's far too seasonal and we're in the middle of summer. I still haven't been able to find the pieces of that room I put around their beds... Weiss, what gets two lovers together in those Spruce Willis movies Atlas rolls out every day?"

Weiss scoffed. "For someone who claims to see every single one that has been put out, Ruby, I'd expect more from you. Normally the love interest gets kidnapped, sending Spruce into a near murderous rage-"

Ruby leaned over and gave Weiss a quick peck on the cheek. "Thanks, honey."

Weiss blinked, as she started to flush red. "You've been hanging out with Nora **_way_** too mu- Wait. Ruby. Don't tell me you're thinking about actually kidnapping one of them!?"

Ruby shot to her feet and began a declaration. "It is my duty as a little sister to make my big sister happy, and she'll only be happy if she's with Blake."

Weiss facepalmed. "You utter dolt, do you want those to be the words on your tombstone?"

"Relax Weiss," Ruby replied with a wink and a grin. "I got this."

* * *

Blake was sitting in the middle of a rather large warehouse, with her arms tied behind a chair. "What even was Ruby thinking. Just really, aside from sugar, what is in her brain?"

At that very moment, a door on the other side of the room exploded open and Yang in full "Burn" raced over to her partner's side. "What happened to you? I saw the note on our bed and got here as fast as I could."

Blake rolled her eyes and slipped out of the bonds. "Ask your sister."

Rather puzzled, Yang asked. "What does Ruby have to-"

Ruby's voice, though in a rather obviously fake voice, rang out through the warehouse. "Yang Xiao-Long. How wonderful of you to join us at long last."

Yang blinked. "What?"

Ruby cleared her throat and continued. "Unfortunately, as the villain of this story, I must now bring your reign of terror and unstoppable lewdness to an end. Evil monologue and stuff!"

"... Seriously Ruby?"

Ruby gulped and tried getting back into character. "Who is this 'Ruby' you speak of? I am the **Crimson Cape** , and I have only one deed to do at this establishment! Make you realize what you are missing!"

At this, several large projection screens drop from the ceiling, showing photos of the pair holding hands, and sitting together on a couch, among other things.

Ruby stepped dramatically into a spotlight beam, with a beaming smile. "Now kiss!"

Yang and Blake said nothing, just looking at Ruby apathetically.

Hearing no response, Ruby tried to press. "Guys?"

"Ruby. How long have you been planning this?" Yang flatly asked.

Ruby gulped. "... Uh... A day?"

Blake rolled her eyes "That explains why it feels so much like a Spruce Willis movie."

Ruby paled and began to stutter. "Uh- well- er... Wait, Yang. Back up. Why are you so angry? Stay back, sis! I'll have you know I only did this to make you happy!" Feeling the battle was already lost, she Petal Burst away with a scream of fear.


End file.
